My life is in chaos at the moment!!! I have personal issues in gigantic proportions and between work and said issue I'm drowning... I need to write this for therapeutic reasons I can't disclose what is happening but when it rains it pours.
Growing up showing emotions was seen as a weakness, life happens, there are more heinous things in the world keep moving forward... I feel very disconnected to my family when I lived at home every day was like living on a battleground. Though formative years have instilled a driving personality, I get to the point fast and I expect others to as well, I dismiss people easily, I don't do drama & I find myself being apathetic to most issues of humanity. I don't know how to comfort people who are upset I feel like an imposter in these situations 'giving someone a hug & telling them that everything will be ok' when really I just want them to get up and walk through door B.
Maybe if my parents came out running with a bottle of mercurochrome and a bandaid when I scraped my knee things might have been different.
I'm just so angry right now and I just can't release it because
1. I'm a control freak
2. I can't control this scenario
3. It could be a long road ahead
I'm rescheduling & diarising but it's hard when this is one of though external roadblocks. Time & process isn't flexible as it's being dictated by an external source. Nutrition for the next week is going to be my main focus as it's in my control and there is no point beating myself up like the past couple of nights about missed workouts. The next two days I am committed, I have a plan but come Monday flexibility will be required as it will be on like Donkey Kong!
Hope everything is okay Dayna. Big hugs babe, you can get through this xxxx
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