Look who's back, back again!

I'm currently in bed on my iPad using Blogsy (Awesome app if you haven't checked it out!) so I haven't gone back to see how long it's been but by my waistline I know it's been too long..

A couple of major events have happened this year.

I lost my majestic bear Calix in May, my pillar of strength, the shoulders who pulled me through some dark times in my life. He was diagnosed with an agressive blood cancer (hemangiosorcoma) after a Splenectomy we were given a prognosis of 20-90 days. He fought through 22 days before he took his final breath in my arms. There were many nights I cried myself to sleep & the others wine numbed the pain.

 

Fast Forward to July I farewelled another great person in my life who not only shaped me into the person I am today but gave me the love I needed to grow from birth to adulthood. Being 33 you would think I should have experienced great loss before but 2014 was to be the year.

I was listed as my Nan's next of kin as my Aunty was in Hawaii never did I think I would get a call to say I was needed at the hospital ASAP & that a decision had to be made. I was fortunate that I didnt have to make that decision as my Aunty had just returned home that night but I was to be the one to tell my Dad to get to Melbourne ASAP as the Doctors thought she only had hours. When I got to the hospital it was horrific they couldn't get the seizures under control from the stroke she just had and it wasn't until she slipped into a coma that she calmed. My Nan was a fighter, she always had been. I sat by her bedside for at least 15 hours a day for 5 days every day the Doctors telling us they don't know why she was still with us as every breath she struggled her lungs rattling. The last 20 minutes she opened her eyes and she looked at me & my aunty with tears as I held one of her hands and my Aunty the other until she let go from this earth.

My Aunty & I then went from the Hospital to my Grandpa and woke him just after Midnight to tell him that his wife of 71 years had passed, that moment is undescribable it was more than heartbreaking!

So since my Nan's death I kept medicating with alcohol and I started eating some processed foods again as it was easy. Having been eating whole / Paleo it made me feel terrible, I could feel the difference but I didn't care. From my alcohol consumption and diet from July till September I put on 8kg. I feel disgusting! From Calix's death to now it's been 12 kgs and to think how hard I worked to get though off in the first place.

I don't think I'm an emotional eater but I am an emotional drinker and 98% of these kilograms are from neat scotch & red wine.

So I went looking for something to pull me out of this rut and found GetCommandoFit. 12WBT worked for me but I love how eating whole makes me feel. I never felt healthier even at my lowest weight as I do eating Grassfed meats, and free of dairy, grain, & refined sugar and Mish's program doesn't cater for a system I find makes me feel amazing internally. My knee is getting stronger and I'm ready to try out his workouts and see how I go he has fundamental movements which I believe will help transition me back to being the fit energiser bunny I miss pre-injury.

I'm nearly 1 week in and the scales are looking good, unofficial weigh in isn't until Monday but I know I've already parted with 2.2kg. The workouts are challenging & I wish there was some more options to change the WOD with alternatives. My knee has been holding up, I sustained from Thursday's workout as it was achey & the squats & burpees wouldn't have been a good idea but otherwise thumbs up! The change is definatly shocking the body and there's not many days I don't have DOMs!

The program being new has a few technological teething issues & the forums don't allow you to follow users or threads. The food & snacks have been delicious but some meals & snacks were hard to consume due to the sheer amount/ large portion size. As far as I can see I don't think there are weekly weigh-in but four week benchmarks where you update your measurements including weight.

The week ahead is going to be challenging! I'm off to Mildura for work until Thursday, then I'm leaving Friday morning for a long weekend birthday celebration. I've done a little prepping: I have found a gym 500m from my hotel & I've started making snacks that I can take with me. The rest will rely on me making good food choices & steering clear of the wine! I've always enjoyed a cheeky drink while travelling for work it helps when sleeping in an unfamilar place but there will be none this time may have to go fill up the minibar with some coconut water..

I'm working on my excuses, I'm turning off my work phone & laptop at 5-5.30 now and getting my arse to the gym. While I have to be mindful of using my knee as an excuse I also have to protect it and know my limits. I had an adjustment today and had a brief discussion of the getcommandofit program and I somewhat understand what I should steer clear from or at least start with no weight and see how the movement feels.

I should hit the hay I want to get to the gym in the morning to do todays workout as I needed my knee looked at before I completed. Goodnight and hope to be posting soon :)

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